how much space can a single person take up, a single person,
their heart a balloon, filling more with air than blood,
and the vessel lifts them up
past themselves, past what matters, and the space taken up becomes infinite,
without apology
The brightest screen is replacing the sky today, and the dangers behind it are hidden in wires.
"You will get your money," she said, her voice, fractal, a prism, the smallest wave or beam...
..."just let me see the tangle of wires."
And just like that, the father slit her throat, her blood shining and sparkling, a currency of stars.
She saw nothing but the blur narrowing as she realized she put her trust in the wrong god.
Revisiting the worst in us goes beyond a short trial period. It has to uproot the dried and damaged, for they died of thirst, and you were too late to properly tend to them.
Let's reflect on this tangible fact for a moment, as the roots turn to dust in your palms -- just who do you think you are, exactly?
And do you know anything about nurturing these children?
Because you wear the gloves and overalls. You wear the straw hat. You even brought the proper canteen.
But you left your other tools at home. Your boots are clean and new. And your eyes track the movement of the sun in the sky a bit too eagerly.
You don't want to take your time. You want to hurry up, and get out of here.
Revisiting the worst in us is tedious and grueling. It isn't for the weak. Confess your crimes to the seedlings, and pretend you know something, anything, about nurturing these children.
Because you're needed.
all of the lights in your car are turned off. Radiohead tinkers softly behind a forced fan. a forced fan, a forced smile, a forced hand on the steering wheel, and you are parallel parked in front of his house, with a little orange orb dancing on your lips.
it's a man like this, who knows your real name, branches of a family tree, burned. it's a man like this who does more than spit on you when he sees you, when he notices your eyes lingering too closely on a significant emblem ironed onto his jacket sleeve.
so you follow him home after he uses the self checkout. you know he doesn't spot you now. with a forced smile, you shush the fantasy in your mind, of replanting the trees, making him do it with you.
instead, you watch the lights go off, one by one, in his little house, ending with his curtainless first floor bedroom and the shaded beacon on a Confederate flag, a delicate tapestry.
he must know your real name, but not tonight. you roll down the window, put out your cigarette, and turn the headlights back on.
how to disappear completely.
pressed firmly at the base
until there was a small pop,
fluid then danced and glistened
as it filled the cavity
like a little girl's glittery curtains
placed hurriedly
in her brand-new bedroom.
except, nothing was ceremonious.
nothing heralded this change of scenery,
and no one could even pinpoint
when it happened.
before we all knew it,
the girl was a woman.
hopes dashed,
she was only moderately
delicate,
a woman with a past--notebooks
of her own questions, but of other people's stories.
when they pick at my bones
i hope they take their time &
enjoy every scrap that took me so long to collect
because it's the least i deserve
for all of the listening i performed
for each painful caw
i'll just
calmly request--
"chew slowly &quietly
don't consume me whole
take your time
as you take my life"
